Living the life God has called me to live
I have to admit the past 10 years have been full of bumps and road blocks. Many I have created on my own. Today as I was cooking in the kitchen and listening to praise and worship music along the way I found myself looking over my life. Looking at who I once was, who I have become today and who I want to be.
It is so easy for us to get caught up in life, caught up in the negative. We tend to focus on what has broken us instead of Who has restored us. For a brief moment tonight I had a pity party. I felt that what I do and who I am doesn't matter. Then I was reminded that I should never look to the world for approval. I should never seek affirmation from people, but from God.
Early tonight I shared a post from 2009. As I read the post I saw a broken lost soul. I saw a little girl trying so hard to figure it all out. As I read through it, and I reflected on the past 18 months instead of being discouraged, I was relieved. We often don't see what God has planned for our lives. We often question the journey and the path we are on.
Over the past months I have eliminated a lot of negative distractions. One that was hard for me to do was step down from the Aurora park board. I joined the park board with good intentions. To bring sports back to a community that was and is struggling. I spent a lot of time in prayer over that decision. I had to decide that first my health was more important. I stepped down because God has not released me yet from a ministry that at the time it began I didn't even realize that it was just that, a ministry. I have tried several times to walk away from it the past months. When I said yes to the YMCA to run the sports in Aurora, mainly the basketball program I did so because I wanted to see kids who wouldn't normally get the chance, have the chance to play the game I love and have loved since I was 9 years old. No the program is not for everyone and it has its flaws. If you are looking for a competitive league and have the means to be a part of that, then yes you should. What I have realized since August is that for me it is so much more then a program. The first year we had around 55 kids, last year we had around 75 and this year we have close to 100. I stepped down from the park board because it became a conflict. People thinking I only wanted the YMCA here so I could make a paycheck. To those people I encourage you to come on game day and watch before every game as we start every single game in prayer. I remember the first time I prayed before the first game we ever played in Aurora. I was nervous. Today I look forward to that part of the game more then the game itself. For 60 seconds I get to pray with players and coaches who may only hear prayer that one time a week. For those people I encourage you to come watch the volunteer coaches pour into our youth in a positive way. Come to one of my practices and yes you will hear me be hard, and enforce discipline. But you will also see and hear me pour life lessons into each one of my players. Telling them that if they quit here, then they will quit in the classroom. That if they quit in the classroom they will quit in life. I ask my players to look at myself and my other 2 coaches. I ask them what would happen if we just quit everyday? There answers were eye opening to them. I share with them that what they do today will affect what they do tomorrow. That life is not about how many points they score in a game. That a game cannot be won with out defense. Life cannot be won without defense. Our defense come from a God who loves us more than we could ever imagine.
Anyone who has read my post know that I will always give credit to that summer day in 2006 when I was first told that Jesus loved me. That day has set the pathway for where I am today. I am not perfect nor will proclaim to be. I sin, I mess up and i stumble. But what i do today versus what i once did, I get back up. I dust the mud and dirt off and try again. I still have struggles of this world like everyone else. But how I chose to handle them is far different then I once did.
I share with you tonight about the YMCA because it has helped me see what so many are missing including myself. That we have to step back and live a selfless life instead of a selfish life. Each day we should be focused on being better. On reaching the lost. Does that mean we have to preach the Gospel 24/7? NO! What it means is by our actions, by what we do and how we handle life situations we should strive that others see Jesus in what we do and how we do it.
I have wronged many throughout the years. And for that my heart breaks. But I know today I want to be better then yesterday. I know on Wednesday nights I want to be that person for a youth who has no one. I know I want to live a life that at the end of the day I can be proud of.
When we have struggles instead of seeking the world for answers, instead of asking everyone in social media land what you should do, get on your knees and pray. Pick up the phone and call those closest to you and ask them to pray with you and for you. Block out the secular world and its view on your problems and dig into the Bible and search for Godly wisdom.
So many have asked me the last month why I have not posted about my health on Facebook. Why I have not kept everyone up to date on what happened, why it happened and the list goes on. My answer is simple. I went to those who I knew would lift me up in prayer. Who would genuinely care about me, and would speak truth into my life. I specifically told my mom and family to not post about it. To not share it on Facebook. Because the bottom line is Facebook doesn't care, Facebook will not heal me, it will not cure me and I didn't and don't need the worlds version of why it happened. I cant tell you why at 36 I have suddenly developed issues with my heart. I can however tell you God was there on August 14th through my Dr. and friend. I can tell you the last few months have been one obstacle after another. But the world does not understand. The world does not understand that we have a God who heals. We have a God that when all signs point to one thing, and I get with my prayer warriors and my church the test reveal nothing. What I can tell you is that each day I wake up knowing that despite anything God is with me and each day He continues to heal me. I choose life over death. I choose Jesus over the world.
To sum this crazy post up, remember that Jesus loves you. His intent for your life is not bad, but good. He is not the one who causes the troubles of this world, but He is the one who can help you navigate through them. He is the ultimate healer and I believe with all my heart He not only saved me that August day, but he saved my mom almost a month later. So instead of allowing your fears to win the battle, allow your Faith to be larger than your fears!
It is so easy for us to get caught up in life, caught up in the negative. We tend to focus on what has broken us instead of Who has restored us. For a brief moment tonight I had a pity party. I felt that what I do and who I am doesn't matter. Then I was reminded that I should never look to the world for approval. I should never seek affirmation from people, but from God.
Early tonight I shared a post from 2009. As I read the post I saw a broken lost soul. I saw a little girl trying so hard to figure it all out. As I read through it, and I reflected on the past 18 months instead of being discouraged, I was relieved. We often don't see what God has planned for our lives. We often question the journey and the path we are on.
Over the past months I have eliminated a lot of negative distractions. One that was hard for me to do was step down from the Aurora park board. I joined the park board with good intentions. To bring sports back to a community that was and is struggling. I spent a lot of time in prayer over that decision. I had to decide that first my health was more important. I stepped down because God has not released me yet from a ministry that at the time it began I didn't even realize that it was just that, a ministry. I have tried several times to walk away from it the past months. When I said yes to the YMCA to run the sports in Aurora, mainly the basketball program I did so because I wanted to see kids who wouldn't normally get the chance, have the chance to play the game I love and have loved since I was 9 years old. No the program is not for everyone and it has its flaws. If you are looking for a competitive league and have the means to be a part of that, then yes you should. What I have realized since August is that for me it is so much more then a program. The first year we had around 55 kids, last year we had around 75 and this year we have close to 100. I stepped down from the park board because it became a conflict. People thinking I only wanted the YMCA here so I could make a paycheck. To those people I encourage you to come on game day and watch before every game as we start every single game in prayer. I remember the first time I prayed before the first game we ever played in Aurora. I was nervous. Today I look forward to that part of the game more then the game itself. For 60 seconds I get to pray with players and coaches who may only hear prayer that one time a week. For those people I encourage you to come watch the volunteer coaches pour into our youth in a positive way. Come to one of my practices and yes you will hear me be hard, and enforce discipline. But you will also see and hear me pour life lessons into each one of my players. Telling them that if they quit here, then they will quit in the classroom. That if they quit in the classroom they will quit in life. I ask my players to look at myself and my other 2 coaches. I ask them what would happen if we just quit everyday? There answers were eye opening to them. I share with them that what they do today will affect what they do tomorrow. That life is not about how many points they score in a game. That a game cannot be won with out defense. Life cannot be won without defense. Our defense come from a God who loves us more than we could ever imagine.
Anyone who has read my post know that I will always give credit to that summer day in 2006 when I was first told that Jesus loved me. That day has set the pathway for where I am today. I am not perfect nor will proclaim to be. I sin, I mess up and i stumble. But what i do today versus what i once did, I get back up. I dust the mud and dirt off and try again. I still have struggles of this world like everyone else. But how I chose to handle them is far different then I once did.
I share with you tonight about the YMCA because it has helped me see what so many are missing including myself. That we have to step back and live a selfless life instead of a selfish life. Each day we should be focused on being better. On reaching the lost. Does that mean we have to preach the Gospel 24/7? NO! What it means is by our actions, by what we do and how we handle life situations we should strive that others see Jesus in what we do and how we do it.
I have wronged many throughout the years. And for that my heart breaks. But I know today I want to be better then yesterday. I know on Wednesday nights I want to be that person for a youth who has no one. I know I want to live a life that at the end of the day I can be proud of.
When we have struggles instead of seeking the world for answers, instead of asking everyone in social media land what you should do, get on your knees and pray. Pick up the phone and call those closest to you and ask them to pray with you and for you. Block out the secular world and its view on your problems and dig into the Bible and search for Godly wisdom.
So many have asked me the last month why I have not posted about my health on Facebook. Why I have not kept everyone up to date on what happened, why it happened and the list goes on. My answer is simple. I went to those who I knew would lift me up in prayer. Who would genuinely care about me, and would speak truth into my life. I specifically told my mom and family to not post about it. To not share it on Facebook. Because the bottom line is Facebook doesn't care, Facebook will not heal me, it will not cure me and I didn't and don't need the worlds version of why it happened. I cant tell you why at 36 I have suddenly developed issues with my heart. I can however tell you God was there on August 14th through my Dr. and friend. I can tell you the last few months have been one obstacle after another. But the world does not understand. The world does not understand that we have a God who heals. We have a God that when all signs point to one thing, and I get with my prayer warriors and my church the test reveal nothing. What I can tell you is that each day I wake up knowing that despite anything God is with me and each day He continues to heal me. I choose life over death. I choose Jesus over the world.
To sum this crazy post up, remember that Jesus loves you. His intent for your life is not bad, but good. He is not the one who causes the troubles of this world, but He is the one who can help you navigate through them. He is the ultimate healer and I believe with all my heart He not only saved me that August day, but he saved my mom almost a month later. So instead of allowing your fears to win the battle, allow your Faith to be larger than your fears!
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